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I Couldn’t Care Less About Final Fantasy

by Paul

I thought I didn’t like football, but man I really don’t like Final Fantasy. When I found out there was a Final Fantasy countdown clock, I was immediately angered by the realization that they are still making these games. Okay, maybe anger isn’t the right word, maybe just mild annoyance at the fact that I had to think about Final Fantasy for even the briefest of moments.

Hasn’t pretty much every angle been covered that could possibly be covered already? I like everyone else went nutso for Final Fantasy VII, but my love grew cold after I realized its all basically the same recycled thing. D-bags with big hair, other characters designed specifically to look cool, half naked furries, impossibly dumb weapons, giant chickens, where does it all end?

I really can’t ever identify with any of the characters in these games, much less the plots that run on rails. I think the main problem is that I can’t get into any Japanese RPG anymore, simply because I can’t connect with much in their culture. Whenever the plots start getting all “Earth Mother this and Spirits of That” I’m all like, “I’m grabbing my hot dogs and apple pies and getting my American ass out of this mess.”

I never thought I’d say this, but I like football way more than a video game.

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One Response to “I Couldn’t Care Less About Final Fantasy”

  1. Esbat Says:

    But the breasts… they get bigger as time goes on… THE BREASTS GET BIGGER! *BIGGER*

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